The "Part-Time Addictions" Keeping You Stuck Past Your Stress Threshold

Be honest.

How many of these stimulating habits are you guilty of using or doing too much of?

• Always on the go, rarely resting

• Arguing

• Being on screens late

• Binge eating

• Checking your phone

• Consuming caffeine

• Consuming high-sugar food or drinks

• Doomscrolling

• Drugs or alcohol

• Eating junk food

• Gambling

• Gaming

• Gossiping

• Listening to loud, intense music

• Multi-tasking

• Overexercising

• Overworking

• Reading forums

• Rushing

• Shopping impulsively

• Watching intense movies or series

• Watching porn

• Watching short-form videos or stories

• Watching the news

• Worrying or ruminating

You’re guilty of many on these list, aren’t you?

I am too. Less than before, that’s for sure, but it’s still a work in progress. And it probably will be for years.

All of these habits can become addictive. Many are manifestations of modern life. Unnatural forms of stimulation that our minds and bodies are not accustomed to.

Even if your life isn’t dominated by one of these addictions to a severe extent, don’t be surprised if you have unwillingly built a bunch of what I call “part-time addictions.” And I believe that, in a way, these can be the most dangerous addictions of all.

Let me explain.

The Sneaky Nature Of Part-Time Addictions (A Day In The Life)

You’ll have to humour me for a minute here because I’m going to introduce you to a fictional character called Fred.

Fred wakes up with his phone alarm every weekday — an unpleasant start to the day.

He tells himself he should get up so he doesn’t have to rush breakfast. Yet, he scrolls social media apps on his phone for the next 20 minutes.

The content he sees is fast, bright, and captivating.

When Fred does get out of bed, he’s already behind. He has to rush to shower, change, and brush his teeth. He stuffs down a slice of toast as he hurriedly leaves home.

As he drives to work navigating the busy traffic, with impatient drivers honking at one another, he sips a sweetened coffee to shake off that sleepy feeling.

The stress is building in Fred’s nervous system. It has been since he reached for his phone 30 seconds after waking up.

Once he arrives at work, he has to put up with empty small talk and colleagues subtly bragging about the cool things they did over the weekend.

Suppressing his irritation, Fred sits down at his desk with another coffee. He sees tens of emails and notifications on the team’s messaging platform. He gulps his drink, hoping to gulp the jolt of overwhelm away too.

Fred checks his phone between responding to messages on his computer — he switches between Instagram, WhatsApp, and TikTok.

Just as he settles down to do more focused work, he’s interrupted by his line manager who wants a quick meeting. Another cortisol surge for Fred, as he worries if he made a mistake or is in trouble.

It turns out fine but, by lunchtime, the words “I hate my life” lurch from somewhere in his subconscious.

Fred can’t think of a realistic way out of this, though — not right now anyway.

He distracts himself from the stress by getting a sandwich, a candy bar, and an energy drink from the local store. He checks his phone five times during the walk to the store and listens to music as he eats.

During the last bite, he realised he hadn’t paid attention to the taste or texture of the food as he ate.

Still with me?

Good. I guess this isn’t a total replica of your day, but I bet there are some things you can resonate with.

So, let’s quickly run through the second half of Fred’s typical day.

Back at the office, the mid-afternoon slump has kicked in. Fred hates that tired, foggy feeling. He has a team meeting that he needs to at least be semi-alert for, so he chugs back the energy drink to give him a boost for the next 1-2 hours.

Driving home after the meeting, again Fred gets stuck in the rush-hour traffic. He listens to a podcast at 1.5x speed to serve as another distraction from his stress.

He plans to go to the gym after work, but the energy drink has worn off, so he eats another sugary snack before his session.

At the gym, he listens to loud music and checks his phone between sets.

Fred finishes the evening with a takeout dinner, an hour of video gaming, a few rushed chores listening to YouTube videos, swiping on a dating app for 20 minutes, and doomscrolling political news and Reddit.

He tells himself he’ll get around to reading that self-help book next to his bed some time, but not tonight.

He struggles to sleep with all of his racing thoughts screaming at him, so he puts on a podcast to fall asleep to.

10+ Subtle Habits = A Disabling Total Sum

Fred’s average day may seem unhealthy. But this is the reality for many people around the world these days — especially for those in the 20-40 age bracket.

It’s important to note that Fred’s day is not dominated by one extreme addiction like alcoholism, chain-smoking, or spending 10 hours a day gaming.

Rather, it’s made up of insidious, hyper-stimulating behaviours and environments layered on top of one another.

These include:

That’s already over ten.

Some of these may not apply to you.

The point is that one form of stimulation isn’t bad unless taken to real extremes.

Instead, it’s the stack of hyper-stimulating habits and environments throughout the day that leave people feeling:

• Busy

• Rushed

• Stressed

• Tired yet wired

• Out of sync with their true self

The hamster wheel analogy applies well.

Why do people get stuck in this as their default state, though?

Three main reasons, in my opinion:

1) The sheer number of hyper-stimulating habits may feel impossible to overcome, so people give up before they even begin

2) The easy access to re-engage or fall back into these habits, unless you choose to say f**k it and become a monk or nun somewhere in Tibet

3) The habits may not be disabling enough to motivate you to change

By disabling, in this context, I mean the degree to which the habits make you unable to use your time and energy how you would like to live a calmer, healthier, more sustainable way of life.

How You Can Melt This Harmful Habit Mass, Bit By Bit

If you feel overwhelmed at the thought of trying to get rid of all your “bad” habits, don’t worry, because you don’t have to.

Some may be mostly out of your control in this phase of your life.

For example, Fred couldn’t avoid working in a distracting environment at his current job. Maybe he can save up to buy some good noise-cancelling headphones or ask his manager if it’s possible to work in a quieter space for part of the day. But he’s not going to be able to get rid of the excess stimulation entirely.

However, I guarantee at least half of your hyper-stimulating habits are in your control.

Pressuring yourself to quit them all at once won’t lead to success. You have to be methodical and patient about this.

First, I recommend you take a few minutes to reflect on your past week so you have a better idea of which habits are tripping you up.

Here’s a free spreadsheet I created that you’re welcome to use for this exercise if you wish.

In the sheet, you’ll find three columns.

One column features a list of common hyper-stimulating habits and environments that can become harmful over time.

The second is a prompt to help you understand what may be causing you to continue with this habit.

The third is a simple strategy to start taking action to reduce this habit.

You may be alarmed by how many of these so-called “part-time addictions” you have accumulated over the years. They tend to sort of sneak up on you.

Don’t get me wrong, many people can continue to be functional despite their bad habits. I was for several years.

Nevertheless, you can reach a stress threshold like I did, whereby you develop a mental health or physical health condition that has a significant impact on your life.

Suddenly, your ability to work, exercise, socialise, and look after your home and yourself can be compromised.

If you’ve reviewed your list of hyper-stimulating habits and acknowledge you have some work to do, feel free to reply with the main habit you want to make some progress with by this time next week. This could be a five, 10, or 20% reduction, for example.

Imagine doing this each week for the next year. Your sense of well-being and quality of life will almost certainly improve.

A word of advice if you’re struggling to choose your first habit to reduce…

I recommend you choose according to your default emotional state.

If you tend to default to anxiety or nervousness, choose one of the habits that adds more anxiety to your life.

If it’s anger or frustration, choose a habit that makes you feel angrier.

If it’s sadness or depression, a habit such as eating junk food or drinking alcohol can add to that flat, heavy feeling.

See how you get on with this. Let me know if you have any questions.

Healthier Habits I’ve Built Over The Past 12 Months

At the end of 2023, I was in a terrible place mentally and physically after a sustained period of cognitive, emotional, and physical overstimulation.

My chronic fatigue syndrome or ME had relapsed. I felt hopeless.

After a few months of trying to push through it, I kept crashing more and more. I conceded that I had to stop working, going to the gym, and most socialising for a while.

My life became much, much smaller for the next six months.

Since then, it’s been a slow rebuild with bad habits being reduced and better habits being brought in one-by-one.

So you can see how what’s possible for you over the next year, here’s a list of the habits I’ve reduced by anywhere from 50-100% since January 2024.

• Overworking

• Doomscrolling

• Overexercising

• Reading forums

• Watching sports

• Watching the news

• Smartphone usage

• Binge eating on weekends

• Watching short-form videos

• Reading or watching true crime

And the healthier habits I’ve increased:

• Daily meditation

• Eating breakfast

• More time in nature

• Stretching and qi gong

• Writing and creating videos

• Slower, more mindful meals

• Walking without using my phone

• Playing acoustic guitar and singing

• Joining a health recovery community

• Eating my last meal of the day earlier

Don’t get me wrong, I still do things that can be classified as unhealthy, stressful, or addictive.

For example:

I still play video games and watch intense movies or series a few times a week with my partner and friends. But I try to keep these sessions to under two hours.

I still watch videos and listen to podcasts, but do so at 1x speed rather than 1.5x. I largely stay away from short-form videos now.

I still treat myself to takeout food or a sweet treat 2-3 times a week, but I no longer binge for multiple days.

I still stay up a bit too late using my laptop. But I use my smartphone less than ever.

I still catch myself rushing through my day a LOT and hope to tackle this next, as my mind still runs at a fast speed — too fast for my body to keep up.

I’m not looking to make dramatic 100% changes. I’m after the 30, 50, or 70% changes that can shift my life in a calmer direction.

Once again, feel free to use the spreadsheet, which you can make your copy of to work on.

Thanks for reading.

Catch you next time,

Declan Davey